Monday, September 22, 2008

The temperatures have dipped below eighty here in Georgia, and my husband and children have lost their minds.

Last night, when it was still a good seventy degrees, they were cuddling up in comforters with their lips turning blue. They even had the audacity to ask me to turn off the air conditioning, as if that is something that you do here in the south before Halloween. Can you imagine? Turn off the air conditioning...oh, how that makes me laugh! Silly people. I could still break into a sweat in seventy degree weather if I did anything strenuous. Not that I was planning to or anything, but the potential is always there. We have to be prepared for anything after all, and sweating is evil. Just ask my sister-in-law, whose air conditioning has been broken for several weeks. Don't you think that if she could avoid sweating, she would? Does it not follow that we should avoid all pretense of sweating in honor of her suffering? I just knew that you would agree with me.

In other news, my sons have bunk beds now. We traded beds with my nephew, because he had bunk beds and didn't need them, and my boys were sleeping on a captain's bed with a trundle that, when opened, took up most of the bedroom. So we traded, and now they are thrilled beyond words. The only problem is that they have a ceiling fan in their room and now I am horribly afraid that one of them is going to climb onto the top bunk and get his head chopped off. Ben assures me that this is impossible, and he knows this because "Myth Busters" did a show about that once. ("Myth Busters" is one step below the Bible as an authority in my house. Don't you wish you lived here?) But I am still worried. Thankfully, they are far too frozen to have the ceiling fan on right now, so maybe I won't have to fear much for their heads until spring. I'm going to have to figure something out by then, though. The Easter pictures would just look weird if half of my children were headless.

Hmm. What else was I going to tell you? Josie and Grace spent all night last night working on campaign posters because Grace is running for Student Council Vice-President. We have to come up with a speech for her to give on Friday, and I am stumped. What exactly does one say in a speech when you are in forth grade and running for an office and you actually have no idea what that office entails? Are campaign promises appropriate, and if so, which ones? I somehow think that promising to end world hunger and lower gas prices won't work in this particular situation. Perhaps she could promise more than ten minutes to eat lunch and lower ice-cream prices? And what about her opponents? I suppose I should prepare her that they will probably try to dig up any skeletons that she has in her closet. Goodness knows, at nine she has had more than enough time for scandalous activities. There was that time when she was seven and I walked in to find her meticulously feeding pieces of construction paper to the paper shredder. She said that they were just old pictures of houses and flowers, but that's what they all say. Who knows what to believe anymore?

Homeschooling was never this complicated.

14 comments:

Sara said...

Oh my Goodness, I can't stop laughing.Sweating IS evil. But here in MN we've already busted out to flannel sheets. Good Luck to Gracie! I too was VP my 5th grade year. For speech advice I'd go with watching the Peanuts episode 'You're not elected Charlie Brown' It's a classic.

Jennifer said...

We just bought bunk beds for our son, and we love them! And I agree Myth Busters is awesome!

bensrib said...

Oooo! I can help you! (I'm so excited because I NEVER know enough to help anyone with something computer-ish!)

To get your picture to show up in someone's followers thingy on the sidebar, go to your profile and upload a photo THERE. I just figured that out this morning!

Now I'll go back and read today's post. :)

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Hey, I live in Georgia too! But I have to tell you: I am from South Texas, so this is almost like winter for me. My A/C has been off and the windows open for almost a week.

I saw that episode of Mythbusters! It's absolutely true; can't happen.

Don't you feel better now? :-D

Ha! Okay, the rest of this was pretty funny, too. I would have NO idea what a kid should write in a speech. I guess if she could tell a good "hockey mom" joke, she'd be ahead of the game! :-)

Jerralea said...

Hello! I can empathize with you - my family wants to turn the A/C off too. Silly people, it's still too early. I loved it when you said "sweating is evil." I knew I had found a kindred spirit!

(I came here from 2nd Cup of Coffee and I'm glad I did. I love to read blogs that have a sense of humor! -- I mean I love to read blogs WRITTEN by someone with a sense of humor.)

CrossView said...

Oh yeah! I hear ya! I'm in the bottom half of Jawja and it's hot. But the males in this house swear I keep it like a meat freezer. Silly men! That's when it's 75 and I'm having hot flashes.

Our a/c went our for 24 hours recently and I thought I was going to have a heat stroke. My 26-yr old said he was comfortable. No joke, it was 94 degrees in here.

Jennifer Lynn said...

Oh ... my ... gosh! You're a hoot! I just stumbled upon your blog from Sara's (Greetings from Butterville) and I am so glad that I did! What a treat! I'm 100% in agreement with "sweat" - I choose not to. Best wishes to your candidate - may she beat the pants off her opponent! Not literally of course, as that would add a skeleton, wouldn't it?? :)

beverlydru said...

I love to laugh so I'm in the right place. I can also testify that you will not have any decapitations from the fan. My fireman had bunk beds with a ceiling fan right there and he grew to be 6'5" WITH his head.
Falling out of hte top bumk was not so good for his back though. Stick with the rails.

Hannah said...

My mom is visiting and I wanted to show her your posts on spiders and hummingbirds, but couldn't find them. :(

You are so funny! And always right of course, sweating is just wrong.

And one of my deepest fears materialized recently when a visiting eight year old was on our bunk bed and got her head whacked by the ceiling fan on high speed. She said it didn't even hurt. It was painful to watch, though.

Thanks for entertaining us with your humor and wit!

Manda said...

I love the fact that I'm your sister, and these are my nieces and nephews. Our family is beyond crazy (I think we're bordering on insane here.....), but I wouldn't have it any other way!

And good luck to Grace! I hope she wins.....even though I'm trying to figure out why a Student Council is needed in elementary school. Oh the mysteries of life....

I love you all!

Octamom said...

I would definitely make free ice cream campaign promises--

Glad you liked the chess pics--and I've got to get some pics of my clean kitchen--so that I will be able to remember what it looked like once MiMi and PaPa abandon me with all these kids....

Blessings!

Smilingsal said...

Tell Grace to promise that each student with a car will have a parking space! That'll impress 4th graders.

Momma Malek said...

LOL on the turning off the a/c. We're in south Texas, and it was 90 yesterday! Nights are cooling off a bit, but goodness, we're weeks if not months away from turning off the a/c. And it's true about the ceiling fan not chopping off heads. I only know because I met someone who had a 4 year old with a black eye. It was caused by her jumping off a bunkbed and getting hit by the fan! So, you're good.

daisy said...

We just turned the A/C off today and started up the furnace because the girls were complaining about the cold in the morning. Wimps. It was only 45° this am. It was at least 65° in the house. We have blankets...but then, it is October 1, and it's Minnesota, so we can break down and turn on the heat. I guess.

I'll wait until it is about 35° before I dig out my jacket...hee hee.