Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I am beginning to wonder if Owen has lost touch with reality.

The other day he came out of the bathroom looking concerned. Knowing that there are many alarming things that could happen when a four-year-old is alone in a bathroom, I asked him what was wrong. And this is what he told me:

"See, there was this bug in there. A really BIG bug. And it crawled all over the floor, and then up the sink, and then it TURNED ON THE WATER! But it just turned on the hot water, and I knew that it would burn my hands so I had to turn some cold water on, too. Then the bug was mad. I finally just left it in there because it was freaking me out."

"Well...yes. That would freak me out, too." I assured him, "But...Owen...was there REALLY a bug? Because we kill bugs in this house. That's why God made shoes."

"Yes! But it was REALLY BIG! You can't kill it with a shoe. You would have to kill it with a truck."

Thinking at this point that one of those horrid flying roach bugs had gotten into my house again, (if you have never seen them, they could seriously carry away a small child. Ben once stood on one for a full minute, and when he moved his foot, it casually walked away without even a dent.) I ran to the bathroom armed with one of Ben's steel-toed boots. I slowly opened the door, intent on erradicating my house of this horror, and saw...nothing. Knowing that this is my little half-bath with very few places that a roach of that caliber could hide, I was beginning to think that I was being played. I stuck my head out of the door.

"Owen...are you POSSITIVE that you saw a big bug in here? Was it maybe your imagination? Because, sweetie...if there really is a giant roach bug in here, you can forget dinner because I will set up camp in this bathroom until I squash that sucker flat, and you know how crazy Mama gets over these things. So please tell me the truth, because pb&j might not have to happen if you are just delusional."

(Notice how I have just overlooked the fact that the child told me that a bug turned on the hot water? That part did not even register with me until later. I heard the words BIG BUG and everything else just went right over my head.)

"Well...maybe it wan't that big. Maybe it was just like an ant. Or a bee. Or a fly! I hate flies. Or maybe I was just thinking about a fly, because of that bug you ate the other day. Or maybe it was a giant baby! There's a giant baby that follows me around and tries to eat me....."

At that point, I escaped to the place in my head where I go when my children babble incoherently. But first, I had one brief moment of clarity.

Owen is probably going to be a writer. Or an artist. Or some other such thing that requires endless imagination. And I will be one very proud Mama.

If he doesn't give me a heart attack first.


Anonymous said...

LOLOL!!! That made my morning... I am going crazy here with my two fighting over toys. You got to love the imagination.

Thanks for stopping by.

Angel said...

Seriously, What could one say in response to this? Really I have no ideas. I just smile and shake my head because I know him so well! Also Faith is missing her best buddy.

Karen said...

Are kids not the most creative things? (I can hear something like this coming out of Jonathan's mouth. Only it would be why he absolutely could not work on his spanish project ahead of time...as in more than 24 hours before it is due. sigh.)

thanks for dropping by my blog. I hope you enjoyed your pie! (at least you can blame your fat stores on the fact that the baby is 4. My baby is 16. That doesn't fly anymore.)


Southern Comfort said...

Very good imagination-when she was 3, my daughter had lady bugs all over her bedroom window (inside and out) and she once told me that she couldn't go to sleep because they were sneaking up on her. I don't know, maybe they were!

Manda said...

Oh how I love my nieces and nephews. And I think he'll be a writer, too. His imagination is something else!

Jenn said...

Great imagination! I have one like that too! Keeps me on my toes and laughing!

Jennifer said...

The baby going trying to eat him comment was priceless! Wow, he should be a writer!

Sara@ Butterville said...

I really don't understand boys fasination with bugs. Really I don't. And why are they always really big bugs?!?

Brownie said...

I'd be happy if my Red (age 3 1/2) would just go potty by himself. Right now I run fast when I hear a flush because I wonder what he put down this time.

He likes bugs to in a love/hate relationship. He will see a bug and scream, pick it up put in on his hand, scream again, it falls off, he picks it up and screams again... etc etc

He also put a box elder bug in his mouth - which made his sister scream - and cause me to call poison control. No, box elder bugs are not toxic. phew.

Anonymous said...

You are a brave brave soul. Would I have grabbed a boot and gone bug hunting? No Ma'am. I would have picked up the phone and called my husband home from work. Oh yes I would. And would he have come home? You betcha, man likes to eat. Food as it turns out, is a universal language to boys both young and old. :o)

I'd have missed the "turned on the water part" too, because I hear nothing but the roar of panic once BIG BUG is mentioned in my presence.

Blessings, Whitney

Anonymous said...

TOO funny!!!

PJ said...

I'd say a budding writer. I mean the "You'd have to kill it with a truck" is wonderful hyperbole and a very creative line to follow You can't kill it with a shoe. Good thinking kid there -- even if it is in fantasyland!

CrossView said...

ROFL! Or a lawyer??!!

I actually miss those days. Now that they're over, I can look BACK fondly! =P

chanelireli said...

That's hilarious :)

Jenny said...

Gosh, I've missed catching up on your reads ... hysterically brilliant, I say!! And, I absolutely LOVE the line of "...that's why God made shoes!" I must borrow this line ... it's a classic!

Aleta said...

Oh, that was hilarious! What a wonderful imagination!

And love your shoes comment. Eww, don't like bugs at all, so I'll always grab a shoe.

Kate said...

So how much water did you have to clean up? If it had been my 4 year old boy, I'm sure I would have needed at least 3 towels.

And I absolutely agree with you...he has all the markings of a brilliant artist or writer.

Momma Malek said...

Lol! You are way more brave than I. I CAN'T squash bugs, unless they're so small you can't even see them. If it's uncomfortably big, I have my 4 year old son grab a cup and place the cup upside down on the bug. Then we wait for daddy to dispose of it when he gets home. What stinks is when daddy forgets, and the cup sits there for days until I forget and I go and pick it up! Gross.

Denise said...

Such a great imagination.

Ally said...

Thanks so much for visiting my blog!
That does sound like an incredibly smart boy, make sure you jot down those little tales of his! :o)